“It’s so confusing… we get along so well, we’ve got so much chemistry and we like the same things, we have so much in common. It’s so frustrating that he won’t commit”…

A familiar statement that I hear so many women say, and something that I myself would have said once upon a time… 🤦🏻‍♀️

But now this situation is no longer confusing to me, as I understand the neurochemicals that cause us to be attracted to a person,

And I know that this has NOTHING to do with whether you have found your match, and more to do with hormones and chemicals like dopamine, adrenaline, and oxytocin.

Neurochemicals that have you feeling good in the moment, and leave you wanting more…. 🧲

This is what causes you to be attracted to someone and lusting over them, even though;

❌ how they’re treating you (including when they’re not with you),
❌ their actions, and
❌ their commitment (or lack of)

Don’t warrant such a high regard for them 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

Someone who won’t commit but gives you “breadcrumbs” will activate arousal of your n...

The purpose of dating is to spend time with a person and to decide if you want to see them again,

Not to decide if you want a relationship or to marry them!!! That requires time!

I work a lot with the women in my SASSY program on not diving in too quickly or letting their desire for a relationship overpower their ability to be discerning ⚖️

Instead, we focus on them having fun and enjoying the interactions they’re having, while exploring the connection….

They’re encouraged to go into the experience with an open mind and a level of optimism, no matter what their past experiences have been.

Why? Because if they have a negative mindset, and carry beliefs like “I never meet anyone”, “people cheat”, “I’m not desirable”, chances are they will find those experiences!

Not only that, they’re not bringing their best selves to the table…. Side note; pessimism is NOT attractive 🙅🏼‍♀️

If you’ve had negative experiences in the past but you’re desiring to see the dating world differently, from a places I’d ...

“It’s so confusing… we get along so well, we’ve got so much chemistry and we like the same things, we have so much in common. It’s so frustrating that he won't commit”…

A familiar statement that I hear so many women say, and something that I myself would have said once upon a time… But now this situation is no longer confusing to me, as I understand the neurochemicals that cause us to be attracted to a person,

And I know that this has NOTHING to do with whether you have found your match, and more to do with hormones and chemicals like dopamine, adrenaline, and oxytocin!! Neurochemicals that have you feeling good in the moment, and leave you wanting more…. 

This is what causes you to be attracted to someone and lusting over them, even though;

•  how they’re treating you (including when they’re not with you), 
• their actions, and
•  their commitment (or lack of)

Don’t warrant such a high regard for them....

Someone who won’t commit but gives you “breadcrumbs” will a...

So you’re in the market for a relationship, searching for Mr or Mrs Right. Maybe you're using modern technology and connecting to potentials through the online world; Tinder, Bumble, Hinge... Or maybe you're meeting people the old-fashioned way - at the bar/nightclub, through friends, or your hobbies and interests. 

Either way, we can acknowledge that it's a bit of a minefield out there when it comes to dating and relationships. Some people are there for a fun time and not a long time, while others seem ready to pounce on you and commit before you've even finished sipping on your first cocktail!!  And of course, there are the unicorns who are so rare that when they come along, you become so fearful of "messing it up" as you are eager as anything to exit the dating scene and move into coupledom.

But I have to share this fact with you... While unicorns do exist, there are many  "ponies" dressed up and disguised as unicorns. You know those guys or girls who initially seem so perfe...